Friday 29 August 2014

A sacrifice that paid



                                                                 free digital photos.net

We were returning from work as usual in the evening.

Shruthi stopped by a roadside vendor and bought a pair of  small fresh looking  banana plants.To celebrate Ganesh Chaturthi the next day. The sight and smell of it brought back different memories.
Of people hurrying home, bags full of goodies for wife and children.Coconuts, plantains, jaggery and pulses that would turn out into mouth watering dishes. Idols of Ganesha (Vinayakar to some and Pillayar to others) that would be pampered happily for a day and then immersed into some water body. Sometimes dead fish would be found floating the next day if the paint used on the idol was not eco-friendly but not everybody bothered about that.

But the lingering memory of this festival is of the year I was preparing for a
competitive exam. In my middle age, when the days of young expectation were over  and had given way to a sort of resignation of my fate.
Somehow, friends had inspired me and made me ambitious all over again.
 Foregoing ordinary get-togethers and fun. I had to travel quite a distance to attend a coaching class.
A Ganesh Chaturthi came in between and I could see people in their hustle and bustle preparing to celebrate.Dressed in bright silks and flowers, lining up before temples.Earlier, children in a holiday mood went swimming and diving.                                                               free digital photos.net

 To my then focussed mind, I almost felt jealous of them. Both adults and children. It looked as if only I wasn't free to enjoy.                                                                                                                      
Then came the exams and after writing them I knew I'd get through. It sure changed my life and  now as I look back I know that the struggle was worth it after all.  

Sunday 24 August 2014

I conceived a thought

I conceived a thought
It grew inside me
I took extra nourishment
From books and thoughts
Helped it develop
And waited.

Then came the moment
For birth.
I relished
Its beauty
Washed it,
Taught it skills                                                                                                                                                                                                                     free digital photos.net

And sent it into the world
Watching from behind
To see how it fared.
When it was fairly grown
I conceived another
And sent it out too.

I still shadow
My babes (books) to see
If they swim well
Through the tides and against
Hoping the weaker siblings
Find their legs
And a way to survive


Like all mothers
Yearning,
Ever learning.

Saturday 16 August 2014

My sweetheart in another's arms


                                                                        free digital photos.net

She gave me hope, confidence,
A will to live, not take offence
At senseless jibes.
The beauty of lives she revealed to me
And my own she held up for all to see.

She showed me trust
And owned me first
Till I shone
And stood on my own.

She showered on me
Love and charity
And made me hope
I'd have strength to cope
Till eternity.

She made up well
For the hell
I'd endured till then
And left open                                                                                                        free digital photos.net

The door to happiness.

Then fate got us separated
My joy evaporated
I busied myself
To bridge the gulf
Over empty space.

With only memories
To still my agonies


Finally one day
I found a way
To meet my beloved.


Her love was the same
So was the place's fame
But I tasted  tears
From my heart so pierced.

I tried to reason why:
I knew each step, each stone
But the post of my first appointment
Was now held by another
My table and chair occupied.
It felt as if
My sweetheart was in another's arms.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            free digital photos.net

Sunday 10 August 2014

Waiting outside open doors



Recently I saw a video clipping on facebook. A man was running down the corridor and finally reached the toilet area. But to his  utter loss both the toilet doors were shut. He raps on each door frantically and has a really tough time controlling himself. He hops and jumps on alternate legs. He raps on the doors again. After his prolonged struggle two men enter talking from behind him, go past him, push open the simply shut toilet doors and enter.

It was like a joke, watching the desperate man. But aren't we  caught in  similar situations with graver consequences? Shutting the doors of our mind : Struggling, fighting with ourselves instead of analyzing the situation around us. How many times we do not even care to attempt all the questions in an exam to our full capacity, fearing that it's going to be of no use anyway?... And then find that we were actually better than the others?      
                                                                                                                                                          free digital  photos.net

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             How many times  after  attending interviews have we wondered how things might have turned out if only we had more confidence? How many players have lost their game to weaker opponents just because they lost hope? (Some just walked out for no other reason).
In contrast, on observing some beauty pageants, I've noticed that the winners were not really the most good looking ones, they only were more confident.


free digital photos.net



Have you noticed that driving uphill seems like an impossible task from far off? But as you start driving slowly, the hill ultimately goes under your feet, a little at a time.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          free digital photos.net


                                                                                                                                                                                                         
I had a similar experience when I was to give my first speech in front of a                                     large crowd. I shook so much from fright just thinking about it. I was
 almost sure that I would forget whatever I wanted to say and make a fool of myself. But then I told myself firmly, 'listen, you have nothing to fear. All these people are your friends, and well wishers. You speak to them everyday. Now you are seeing them all at the same time,that's all.'

You won't believe it, everybody asked me later how come I was so cool!

                                                                                                                                             

                                                                                                          free digital photos..net

So how about making a resolution today, both you and I that we'll never ever  waste the rest of our lives struggling outside open doors?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                free digital photos.net

                                                                                                                                                         

Saturday 2 August 2014

Slaves of power

Fathima applied a lotion over her burns and then put on a long sleeved blouse over them. She turned and looked at the mirror. Not one black mark was seen. She then tied the matching green -red and white sari and watched the effect. It was perfect. Made her feel like the stalk of a beautiful flower. She combed her hair high and pinned it and then started for the interview.                                                                                          

 She had passed the main auditor's exam and now only had to pass a supplementary interview. Nobody from her tribe had passed this exam so far. Nor had expected her to pass it. It was like jumping from one rock to another in a flowing river - like she used to do when she was a child. She who  once had a fracture in her leg thrilled at every obstacle she overcame.

The other aspirants were pouring over books. Over preliminary questions she was already familiar with. When her turn came she walked in majestically. The interviewer was young, tall and smart in a white shirt. She answered her subject answers correctly. Even personal questions (perhaps for attitude, she guessed). After all she had the right attitude.

She was hungry when she came out. And tired. The sun teased her for her long sleeves. And then she remembered. The interviewer had mistaken her for a muslim because of the long sleeves. They were out of fashion now. No wonder he kept asking weird questions. Her name too must have added to the confusion (he had repeated it pensively). If only she had followed his line of thinking then, she would have cleared his doubts. Not that he could be prejudiced against muslims or show it here, but that was life.

At home father seemed tense and off his jovial self. A senior official who had come  to his office for inspection had written a not so good report about him because father's boss did not give him the expected 'pocket expenses' and the official who couldn't get a bite at the shark was satisfied to bite smaller fish just to show his power.
 Father had a good reputation at his department and in the village. Everyone knew that he'd leave home sharp at 8 every morning and how his bosses trusted him to finish to perfection any work that they had started and could not complete.
"Don't worry dad," Fathima tried to comfort him."Everyone knows about you and your work. This man is only making a fool of himself by giving you a bad report. People would have respected him if he had given this report about Subu, the fraud."
" I flinch thinking mainly of Subu," father said. "He was all teeth after the incident."
The phone rang and Fathima went to pick it. It was Karthick, her brother Justin's best friend.

"Hello Fathima, Justin has just had an accident. I'm with him at V.R.K hospital. Fractured his hand and had some scratches. Rammed his bike into a tree. I told him I'd drop him. He didn't listen. Priya jilted him suddenly in the evening. Said her father just got a promotion and has become an officer. They'll be shifting to the Officer's quarters.
"What will people say if they see me coming to your house,Justin?" she says coolly.
"She said that?" Fathima's eyes blinked as she took in the new shock.


At the hospital Justin was half dazed. Opened his eyes, said something and closed it again. Then again he opened his eyes as if he suddenly remembered something and father, son and daughter put their hands together in a thumbs up sign, a renewal of their previous decision to unitedly face and win life's challenges.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 

                                                                                   all free downloads.net