That Encouraging Word

                                            Statue of the founder, GTN College, Dindigul


"I KNEW it all along, I could feel the sense of gratitude and the looks of admiration from my classmates, both boys and girls. Yet it felt good and truly boosted my spirits to hear it from my master when he told you about me the other day," my friend's daughter told her mother Nandini (my friend) recently.

'And hearing her say it the day after she graduated from her College boosted my spirits in turn because we really had reason to fear for her', Nandini explained.

'Her two years of Higher Secondary at a new school hadn't been good. How she landed there, hostel and all I still can't say.Some suggestion from her friends, some from mine and off she went. Her idea was to listen well in class and  then open her books now and then to understand a concept. Just before tests and the exams she'd refresh what was in her mind.But it didn't work out there.

The authorities there who had produced some toppers believed in making the students reproduce the textbook, word for word. This would ensure full marks for the students and a name for the school. When my daughter produced the answer in her own words, she was hardly given a decent mark. Overcome by shame and guilt, she lost her reasoning and logic. In spite of our assurances that we only wanted her to be happy and confident, she showed symptoms of stress, depression and inferiority.

Then to our surprise she passed with a 1st class and in fact with marks above 70%. But with every College expecting students with top marks, we had a tough time during admission. Anyway she was admitted  to the GTN College and it proved to be a healing therapy for her.The positive and encouraging atmosphere there did her a world of good.

. Most of her classmates being from villages, my daughter who had lived in towns through out had lots to learn from them : like sharing in the chores at home,being independent,etc.

And they in turn came to know of their rights,learnt to think and reason with their lecturers, etc.from her.She had even arranged a trip to Kerala for them-all on her own.

 Once I got to meet a lecturer by chance.He was surprised how so active a girl could remain humble and helpful too.This was the lecturer she was referring to, Meena",Nandini told me obviously relieved.                                                                                                                                                                    A trip to Kerala                                                                                      

Creating a Samacheer (uniform) Class for Children

It's been around four years now since the introduction of the Samacheer  or uniform system of education for all children in Tamilnadu. And both students and teachers have found a way to crack even this system, generally speaking.
 Logically, it sounds right. Creating equal opportunities by giving all the children: rich and poor, city and slum area, equal education. Yet if  we hold the lens close enough, we notice that there  still are differences. Differences in background  knowledge, scope and capacity. And perhaps we haven't really lifted the level of the village children. Perhaps we have only brought down the level of the city and town children.

But of course just as a human cell takes at least 3-4 months to grow, perhaps a human brain must also be expected to take its time to show  the benefit of growth. So perhaps like all team work, the 'slow and backward' so far might get a chance of being either uplifted or shoved up.That's as far as academics is concerned.
 But as for as the real problem, teachers still have to grind their teeth. The behaviour of the downtrodden children. Perhaps in the tough competition for their basic needs, man automatically turns into a beast,when it comes to survival of the fittest. Like we see 'decent' middle class people when their water pipes are broken or blocked and they have to depend on 'water trucks' or lorries.

So it could be either the hunger in these children or anger. Physical hunger because his overworked mother doesn't have the strength or time, sometimes even money to provide for him. Naturally, hunger for attention also ensues. Anger that the parents/society/fate did not provide them their basic needs or spend enough time with them. The pity is that they are not even aware of their anger or hunger. So they don't know that they can try for a solution. Instead, they smile their sadist smile and vent their anger with fowl words. Words that a self respecting teacher would blush to hear. Or they mercilessly bully a weak child.

The media with its introduction of violence and sexually stimulating scenes and words hasn't helped at all. Socially, the stess on honour and values have been replaced by marks/grades with the idea that it'll convert to money some day. Neither do we find many children with a value based book in hand or sitting at the library.

At school,the teacher tries to correct the child with kindness, even love - and finds herself made a fool of. And practically, we can't expect most of the teachers to pursue after that. Sometimes the child has simply grown up with that kind of behaviour in that kind of class  and imbibes it without thinking. ( the lower classes have to live in a particular place so that they may not cross over to or walk or even collect water from where the higher classes live,though stray pigs can do that).

 If his father is a drunkard and hits his wife, a boy thinks that the 'man' thing to do would be to drink himself and look at girls without respect. Small, common rooms for parents and children make them observe their parents in their private moments and may  stimulate him to try out his ability. Any different kind of advice makes him think that this person doesn't  have the kind of experience he has.

Where then lies the answer?Social workers and teachers have to exercise their wisdom, patience and  prayers for these children till a common class of thinking and well behaved children arises.Will it?

                                                                  Photos : free digital photos.net

High Above the Maddening Crowd

            THOUGH it may not come under any ‘Heritage’ or ‘wonder of the world’ title, Dindigul’s  Balaji  Bhavan,Tamilnadu is surely a haven above the ground  for any local resident or visitor.

     We escaped from the crowded Bus Stand to Balaji Bhavan  one evening,  went past the crowd already eating/waiting for their parcels to be packed and took the lift to the roof top.

       It was my son’s birthday. And my daughter wanted to celebrate it in style.  We stepped out into the cool fresh air and took a few steps ahead. We were greeted by the sound of light romantic music. The dim lighting helped relieve the tension off my eyes(I became aware of it only after entering there).I was looking  at the young bamboo shoots and flowering plants and shrubs when we had to cross a small bridge. As I watched my step I saw fish pass just below my feet as water flowed under the bridge.

       Four or five young couples with small children were already seated around small tables.  A smiling waiter took us to an empty table towards the inside. Water jugs and small sauce pots were already placed on the table. Table mats of chart paper with quiz and puzzles for children were laid on the empty table. As we were relishing all these, the waiter served us the menu card. We asked for both mushroom soup as well as the usual tomato soup. Strangely though, the mushroom soup was not as good as the tomato soup. As we were ordering these, another waiter served the neighbouring table with something that was burning and smoking but  in a raw cabbage leaf. I held my daughter’s arm and pointed to the dish but my daughter whispered that it was a sizzler and that was the way it should be served. By the time we finished our soup, curiosity overtook my fear and I wanted a sizzler too.

  The children ordered spring rolls(tortillas), naan,( something like a big bun) and rumalli roti as the main dishes.These were mostly made of maida(white flour), which  had no nutritional value. But on seeing the children’s faces and comforting myself that it was only once a year, I kept quiet. The mushroom gravy topped with cottage cheese and cauliflower curry with mayonnaise were sumptous and  appetizing.

    We felt full but what is a celebration without a dessert? Each of us
had a milk shake of a different flavour with a generous topping of icecream. All these came within a surprising low bill. And to re-live the sweet memories we sure took a lot of photos in the funniest of poses you could think of!

A Lady's Sense of Justice

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I had heard so much about her that I was waiting for the day I could see her in person. Plump and caring but authoritative with the final word  and an innate sense of justice.

She entered the reserved compartment and walking straight towards a seat that seemed empty, she sat down. It was actually a two seater but a thin couple occupied only half the space provided.The man reminded her that it was a reserved compartment but she replied that she was harming no one.

Her husband had served in the railways for many years and died 'in harness'. The job was given to her son. She was called to help with her daughter's second delivery and while there,she had yet another call from a relative who was having serious health problems. Wasn't it her duty to go there immediately and help? Should she be delayed searching for Identity proofs and the lot?

Vendors selling fresh murukkus (a crisp rice snack) passed by. She called them and bought a good lot of murukkus. The relative had children, you know. Presently she took out the day's newspaper and offered a sheet to each of the passengers to read.In half an hour the men began talking politics. The lady too joined in. Right from the politics of her local area to State politics to National politics, she was well informed and well opinionated about everything.                                                                                                                                           free digital photos.net

She could look above the cracks and loopholes of the abiding law that so many took unfair advantage of. She reminded me of the old time grannies who managed joint families with their intuitive love and wisdom. An explanation of the Tamilian custom of worshiping women goddesses.

                                                                         free digital photos.net

Growth of a kind

                                                              photo : free digital photos.net


If I could
Unwind the hands
Of time
I would
Take back the word
That caused the hurt
In your eyes.
The deed
That was a step away from you
And led to others.
It seemed right
At the time
Yet with the
Passing of years
And the lasting
Tears
I understand
That the unity
Of minds
Is worth
More than being right.

I could also use
The experience of today
To diffuse
The hurt I bore
Unnecessarily
Some put- me - downs
By different clowns
To which I couldn't
React, recover
Only the sting  hovered.

Some decisions
If revised
Could help
Both sides
Compromise
But experience is growth
Of a kind
To be passed on
To generations
By word
Or letter
Or message
To those
Who ask or
would listen.

A treadmill to heaven

                                                                     free digital photos.net



Questions, questions,
questions
so many of them
pop up in my heart,
my soul.
Like the rings of sliced onion
that fall off
from the core
Unanswered,'un-understandable,'
Perhaps almost unacceptable:
Of  unbalanced suffering
Suffering long and continuing
To the next generations

Some suspect a curse
If so, I wish those involved
Right their wrongs
Or search for remedies,
For wisdom
To tilt the see-saw
Of favour
To their side.

Till then
 I will perhaps
Find myself
On a treadmill
That keeps me
From proceeding,
Or progressing
With  the confidence
That once was
And should have been mine.

                                                                     free digital photos.net

Understanding children instincts through our pets...

"Hi Terry, How's life?" I ask my pet dog. He looks at me without  raising his head. And without even wagging his tail. Nice snub, I think and walk away.

"You can't blame him. You didn't bother about him when he was alone  (in another yard owned by us) all those years and he had nobody to comfort him while he guarded the shed in the yard," my daughter was quick to speak up for him. That was the truth,I had to admit to myself. He used to yell painfully when any of us passed that way. But we went there only for some specific job and always had to hurry for one reason or the other. Moreover with workers moving about in a hurry it just wasn't the place for relaxing with a dog. 

For my daughter it was different. She did bother to stop and spend some time with him even though he usually ended their meeting with loud cries as if to say, 'No, don't go away. Stay with me! Talk with me. Play with me!!

Then the shed changed hands and Terry was brought to live with us. Now I get the chance to serve him his dinner everyday. He can't escape me now, I think. Dinner and bones for him  is in my hands.

 "Here Terry, Come and eat."I call out to him. He smells his food and walks away. Showing no other reaction.    

Meanwhile he follows my daughter like a slave , sits by her feet in a 'At your service, Master' posture and looks at her with eyes of pure admiration.

Along comes 'bath time' and I am  commissioned to do the job. I am afraid to touch him. I begin by telling him what a gem he is and I knew it all along and how happy I'm to have a good boy. Every breath of fear brings out a shrill 'good boy' from me like the Kabbadi players. He had seen me wash his kennel too. So I wait in expectation of a sign of forgiveness from him. I see a  smile, a wave of his tail.  A neighbour passing by asks me if he just had a bath and only then I realize that it must have been a noisy bath.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

 Then comes my nephew out of the blue and after getting introduced to Terry  arranges for his  freedom : takes him for walks, runs and games. Terry then scarcely notices my daughter and rushes past her to his new hero, licks his lips looking at him and sits at his feet, awaiting his command. All this from a breed known for its faithfulness? I wonder.

As a  parent and teacher I got thinking,'Do we see a similar behavior pattern in children too? Children giving preference to trust and freedom first of all, then kind words and last of all to their basic needs being met.Specially

to children /animals who didn't have to struggle with their basic needs being met.


                                                                             free digital photos.net