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Early this morning I saw a little girl nestling cosily in her puny grandmother's lap.As I smiled at the girl,she rested her neck on her bony grandmother's arm to look up at me, turning her neck alone all the way round as I passed by them.What luxury,I thought.
They were sitting on the steps of a house whose inmates had perhaps not yet woken up.Perhaps the lady had stopped by to open her betel leaf packet or whatever else helped her relax.What struck me was the luxury of confidence the little one by the wayside was enjoying.Confident of her puny grandparent's care and protection.The sub-conscious confidence got by the time and attention spent on her: a gift that most parents can't afford for their children in their daily rush to make ends meet.
To a grandparent also this luxury is reciprocated.The child's innocent devotion far outweighs the calculative parent's response.Then there is also the time and tiredness factor of the parent.
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With the dwindling of our society's joint family system,the chances of attention, love and care a child gets are getting increasingly rare and precious.
Making it all the more difficult for the single child.
Siblings provide the balance of temperament when matters go tough.
The overworked, anaemic mother sometimes has an inkling of this and so tends to go soft with her only child.
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And then finds herself much in the same situation as Tom Sawyer's aunt , 'see-sawing ' between thoughts of,'poor child' (no parents-should I be more lenient?; We may substitute-no sibling,how will he/she pass time-should I be more lenient?) and,' am I bringing her up with the required amount of discipline? and 'If she's not made to share now, will she learn to share, care for others later in life?' etc,etc.
Parents of the single boy child tend to be more wary of the company he chooses.It may be a good idea to win his trust.
They(the parents of both kinds-those of single girls and of single boys ) are in for a shock when the children they so tenderly cared for turn out to be selfish, ungrateful and rude.
Neighbouring children of the same age and mentality may help solve the problem in some cases. But what if there are no neighbouring children or if they don't click?Pets-cats, dogs, birds - anything may help.
,
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Apart from time-pass they help relieve the tension of school work,
fights at school, low marks,scoldings at home,school, various comments from different quarters- relevant, irrelevant, anything.
Other-wise the child chooses the company of the 3 network machines-the cell,the TV, and the internet in different proportions, again making the parents's hair stand on end.
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The visit of the 'right' relatives may be like a shower after the blazing sun. A jovial aunt may be the one to share those 'secrets' better shared with others than with mum.
Finally,a cousin may pull the pampered child down to earth with reminders that he/she is just one of the millions of children decorating the face of the earth.Even if born in a multiple child family,those given preference over their siblings either on gender basis or for family resemblance or their looks or talents or whatever
tend to have their head in the clouds and be selfish, aggressive,etc.even to the same parents who spoil them.
Leaving it either to nature to give them a timely knock on the head or
embedding them as a thorn in the flesh of the parents,
a constant reminder of their past mistakes.
Where then the tug of war? Good or bad, parents ultimately reap what they had sown in their child .
embedding them as a thorn in the flesh of the parents,
a constant reminder of their past mistakes.
Where then the tug of war? Good or bad, parents ultimately reap what they had sown in their child .
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